Tuesday, March 18, 2014

i want to go to there

Remember what I said about that polar vortex? About how hell is not actually hot, but very, very cold and about how we’ve had six months of winter and about how I’m beginning to think that I have chosen to willingly live in Narnia (always winter, never Christmas!) under the dark spell of a very evil sorceress who has banished the sun from ever gracing our flat prairie land with her rays of joy and hope?

No? Oh. Well. It’s true.

And it’s actually starting to make me a little delusional. I think to myself, hey, maybe if I dress like it’s spring, I’ll trick the weather into thinking it’s supposed to be warm and maybe spring will finally come! Well, joke’s on me. I traipsed out today in espadrilles and a light rain jacket. I am an eternal optimist.

And now I have frostbite.

Here is where I would rather be:
It is called Orchard Keepers. It is in Australia. I don’t think it’s ever cold there.

Seriously, this place looks like paradise. You bring ten of your closest friends and stay in a beautiful, sprawling farm cottage-mansion hybrid amongst acres and acres of orchards and gardens.

You pick whatever you want. From their gardens. And then you cook with it in the most beautiful kitchen bathed in sunlight.

It’s got a guest house. And Uchino Japanese bath towels (I don’t even know what those are and I want one). And it’s decorated with “socialite linen” and “treasured objects.” I love treasured objects. I want to vacation in a place with treasured objects.

Ok, sure, I’m being a little dramatic. It’s the vortex. But seriously. I will stay here one day. I will be warm again. And when that day comes, I will cry from joy on the sun on my face as I dance through the orchards and relish every decorative treasured object that graces the nooks and crannies of the most beautiful vacation ever.