Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Today you get special words of wisdom, Kate style. I know that all of these things will universally apply to everyone and anything (ha), so be sure to pay close attention (double ha). Drumroll, please!

1) Don’t ever ever ever do the Daniel Fast for more than two weeks unless you have a truly iron will, do not care about the taste of the food you put into your body, or a stomach of pure steel.

2) If you do not possess all of the qualities above and insist upon eating like a masochistic caveman for a month, do not, I will repeat for slower readers, do not jump right back in to eating like a person who likes to eat normal food the day your fast ends.

       2b) Especially with the flu going around.

3) If you ignore the above advice and insist upon eating delicious Swedish pancakes and Pasta Fresca, even small amounts of each, with flu season in full swing, be prepared for a night of agony in the bathroom.

4) If you are not used to throwing up, like I am, and forget that you’re supposed to not throw up on the floor, make it easier on the people you share a bathroom with and make them a pretty, witty sign that explains your foolhardiness.

5) When you’re lying in bed cursing the day you decided to be a disciplined pray-er and eat-er and wondering if you will ever be able to enjoy good food that does not taste like dirt and natural things again, get a head start on finals studying. Do not watch movies to dull the pain.

6) When you do decide to start studying for finals, don’t waste thirty minutes of your precious time making all of your study guides look like Kate Spade herself could have designed them. You’re only going to use them once. Does it really matter what the Kate Spade Font is?? (A form of Bakerville, if you’re curious)

7) If you do decide to do all of these stupid things, do yourself a favor and go on a friend date to numb the pain of your stupidity. The girls you go with and your date will make you feel a lot better about yourself and your diminishing state of mental capabilities.

Lucky, lucky you! Not only do you have the privilege of benefitting from my utter smartness and common sense (triple ha), you also get a weekend recap and an excuse for lack of Monday post all in one! It actually wasn’t that bad (at points)—the game at Calvin was so exciting and the Melby family was as sweet as could be and my friends were hilarious and friend date was very fun. But the sickness and the studying and the fact that I may never be able to eat like I used to ever again was a little ironic/saddening. Oh, well. Can’t think about this now, there’s studying to do! Finals are a week from today!

Happy Tuesday!

PS I’m loving Amanda Jane Jones’ awesome party in a box today. I could use one of those right about now!

1 comment:

  1. Hope you're feeling better, sweet girl. Only you would pay attention to the Kate Spade font. Were you thinking about this while you were throwing up all night?

    Love you!